Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Someone's Gonna Get Hurt

I’m going to tick someone off. I’m going to insults herds of people. But I must get this off of my chest. I just can’t take it anymore.

First of all, my dear family and friends, I care for you very much. The last thing I want to do is upset you. And, by the way, I do like your children. Very much. My fridge is proof of that. It is covered with photos of you and your beautiful children.

It is Christmas. I know it has been over commercialized. It has lost its meaning and has become a season of greed, excess, expense, etc. For these reasons, I feel I should not make any requests. I should be thrilled to receive anything from anybody. But I do have one, very small request. . . .

If you like me, please send me a Christmas card. I know you think you did. Some of you did. Many of you didn’t. I’m not angry at you. I’m not even upset with you. I’m glad you sent something to me. But what I wanted you to send me is a Christmas card.

A Christmas card. It is sometimes covered with glitter. Often there is a painting of the baby Jesus. Other times, there is a snow-covered evergreen surrounded by woodland creatures holding gifts and birds draping the tree with popcorn garland. There may be a star off in the East, a goose wearing a Christmas hat, a candy cane, a stocking hung by the fireplace, a joyful Santa Claus. Whatever. I just want it to be a card. And I prefer it to be pretty. I really like glitter. I WANT A CARD. I want it to fold. Horizontally or vertically. Perhaps it can fold twice.

And then, on the inside, you can slip in a photo of your little rosy-cheeked Christmas cherub. Then, I will take this photo and simply affix it to my fridge. I will then take the beautiful card, which is really like a little gift to me, and I will display it. If you decide to put a family newsletter in also, I would read it. I like you enough to read about you. I REALLY am interested. But it would be nice for you to butter me up just a bit and send it with a CARD.

I actually save most of these things. I file the photos in my OPC (other people’s children) filebox. No, it is NOT the round file. After Christmas each year, when I put away my Christmas decorations, I put the new photos on the fridge and take the old photos in the filebox. My family and I enjoy looking at the older photos and see how your children have grown.

So please, send that photo. Just send it in a card. Don’t make it the card. I really don’t want to have to wrestle that photo out so I can put it on the fridge. And I don’t want to look at the photo in summer with your lovely offspring surrounded by candy canes and jingle bells.
Maybe it is the economic turndown (whatever the correct political term of the day is) that makes you resistant to purchasing cards. But what about those Christmas card designers. They have families to feed also. Toss a little money their way.

That’s all I want for Christmas. A CARD. And your forgiveness, please, for having offended you.


paula said...

wow you made me want to send you a card and i hate them. you are a sentimental loving person....i hope you get refridgerator after refridgerator of glittering folded cards :)
merry christmas kim!

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