Thursday, March 19, 2009

Mall Full of Ugly

Yesterday, I had to make a clothing return. I purchased a swimsuit online from Lands' End. Of course, it did not fit. So I was able to return it to the local Sears store. Everybodys' got one of those, huh?

After returning the offending clothing item, I figured that I would do some hands-on shopping since I was already at the mall. Ha. Ha.

Now, it our little town, we have a little mall. But, no matter how small, can one really cover a mall in 45 minutes? The answer is yes. If it is a mall full of ugly.

Up for offer . . .

Black polyester pants. Ah, yes. They are seasonless. But if you've got one pair, what do you need another one for?

Cropped gray sweatpants. I had no idea people purchased such things. I thought that ladies acquired these after rummaging through their teenage son's laundry basket and scissoring off the legs in a fit of desperation.

Shapeless clothing made from thermoplastics and petroleum products. They feel like fiberglass and smell like a chemical plant. This makes up 85% of all women's clothing sold (my statistics). Well perhaps sold is the wrong word. I should have used "produced," as I did not see a single woman purchasing these items.

I returned home with nothing.

And the colors . . . Good God, the colors. Aside from the occasional blue, all other colors are based upon bodily excretions. Need I say more?

I guess it is time for a gym membership. Got to get in shape. Got to have self-confidence when I join up with the "naturists".

Anyone know of any good online sources?


paula said...

you are having some strange thoughts all rotating around gross colors and things aren't you? what on earth are you going to make next i wonder....
as for swimming suits. i have one that is 10 years old and i'm scared to death to go swim at a local place scared to deal with IT and my body.

Miss Janey said...

Miss Janey has recently been looking for a new swimsuit. Her
36fs don't fit into a conventional suit. She happened upon this site:
The only reason she hasn't yet ordered one is that it wouldn't be ready in time for her impending HI trip, but when she gets back, she's all over this. Good luck.