Thursday, November 15, 2007

Why Panic?

Those Christmas trees (fake, of course) popping up in stores everywhere should have been a warning. So should the holiday tunes playing in the department stores (2 weeks ago, when I was shopping for sweaters, for me). I paid no attention. I had undergarments to buy. I had food to buy. I had face cream and children’s jammies to buy. Then I had a look at my daughter’s school menu and wondered why they were only serving food two days next week. There were days with blanks. Empty squares. Why? Does the school endorse (enforce) fasting. No. Next week is Thanksgiving. The big kickoff.

Why should I panic? Plenty of time for Christmas shopping. Actually, that was being factored into my upcoming trip to New York City. Time off for Thanksgiving. Time off for vacation. Some more time off for Holiday decorating, party planning, gift buying, gift wrapping, baking, relaxing with friends and family. Why panic? Oh, yeah. The commission. Gotta squeeze that in.

Why do I get worked up about this stuff?
I go to bed at 11:30 on New Year’s Eve. I get a name list at my daughter's school to scribble 20 kids’ names on store-bought Valentine’s cards on February 13th. I avoid GREEN beer. I detest (am frightened of) 4th of July fireworks, I can sew but DO NOT sew Halloween costumes (although I love Halloween), I detest turkey AND cranberry sauce. But the thought of not doing just one of my traditional Christmas activities thoroughly depresses me. WHY CAN’T I RELAX, do little, and absolutely enjoy Christmas? MUST HAVE COMPLETION. Or close to it.

I must have this commission (shown badly photographed above) well underway in order to enjoy the holidays. I just started cutting fabric for it two days ago, and if I do say so myself, it seems to be moving right along. I mustn’t think about how far there is to go. Must finish cutting and designing (yes, I do not design much ahead of time, I prefer to design on the fly). Then sew pieces together. Then attach middle and back layers. Then sew layers together. Then quilt. Then determine applique shapes. Attach them. Add beading. Why do I make these lists? Why can’t I just enjoy the process?

Breathe, sew, bake, breath, sew, shop, breathe, sew, wrap, breathe, sew, party, breathe, sew, enjoy family, breathe, sew, wait! . . . I forgot about sleep!


paula said...

i feel for you in regards to the commissioned is hard to push something like that aside and do anything else isn't it? It's like homework though and who wants to do that?

hope you can relax....i ignore the holidays totally and have for the last few years. guess you can't with a child around (god forbid they blame you for messing their lives up by thwarting their holidays!)

Anonymous said...

Ah yes. I feel the same way - like we are poised on a starting line...on your mark, get set...STOP. I just want to stop. Your commission is AMAZING and beautiful. And next year I am with you - there is NO way I am spending my time sewing Halloween costumes! (Oh - and you must try my cranberry sauce. It's like a dessert!)