Friday, January 13, 2012

Quiet and Alone. What's wrong with that?!?

There are those out there that keep exquisite journals. Artwork. Clippings. Hugely creative doodles. These things get shown in national magazines.

I infrequently buy journals. I love paper. I love blank paper. I love a fresh book. I just don’t know how to properly deal with these things.

Now, if I buy a journal, I make sure it is quite small with few pages. That way, if I get a third of the way through, I can feel some sort of accomplishment.

I put little sketches in them. Mostly designs. I cannot “draw,” so no portraits or still lifes for me. So a page of multi-sized dots may be the extent of my drawing. Often I will write a pithy thought or perhaps an excruciating line about my mother’s death. How about a short list of names I will never be called? Or a list of my five (at the moment) favorite words?

I am now taking an on-line creativity course. I am supposed to write down my dreams. I am supposed to write down my fears. I HATE writing this kind of stuff down. It makes me feel like a dweeb and I already feel like a dweeb, that’s why I’m taking this course. I’m searching for a way to creatively leave my dweebiness behind.

In picking up a journal to do a writing exercise I don’t want to do, I flip though a few scribbled pages, among many blank ones. One page simply has a single word. And this word makes me laugh hysterically.


What a fantastic place that would be! A city. A metropolis. Where one could actually be a hermit. Beautiful little apartments lined with books. Coffeehouses where hermits could infrequently meet or sit by themselves, lined with books, of course. Narrow little book-lined townhouses. Doors open on occasion to admit one’s closest friends. Little shops. Movie houses. Bistros. And then quickly home. Ahhhh, hermitopolis.

I’m not sure why I chose to write that one word down. No doubt I was feeling hermity. I feel that quite often. But I’m thinking I would like to live in hermitopolis. I’m sure it would not be a bad, cold, unfeeling place. Hermits care about others. They just prefer to peek through the curtains at what is going on in the street. If they even bother with peeking through the curtains. Perhaps they are damn jolly just working on a puzzle, doing some research, or perhaps having a delightful and saucy evening with another hermit of choice.

Tonight my daughter is going to a sleepover at 6:00. The hubby is trying to plan the perfect evening out. Dinner? A movie? A band? All three or just a combination? I don’t know. It’s cold. Snow is on the ground. I’m thinking of a cozy little restaurant. One with a fireplace. One populated with several other hermits having a rare night out. Then back home to do the hermit thing. Sounds good to me.


paula said...

lemme know if you find such a place, i'm there and would love to live right next door to you with my studio window facing yours :)

Colleen Kole said...

You did just write it all down. right here. just go put it in your journal.

I have to go somewhere I don't want to go tonight. Maybe I will reconsider.

Marty Mason said...

I love how - when you choose - you express yourself. Beautifully - when you choose. So, what's the problem! Could it be, Kim, that you are too hard on yourself....could it be Kim?

When I journal, it's in the fashion of a grocery list...hmmmmmmm what's the name of this creative class you are enrolled in???

Susan said...

Hermitopolis! Love it!!!! And like Paula when find that place I will be catty corner to both of you staring at both of your windows. ALSO Colleen is right, this blog is your journal, and Marty might be on to something....Maybe Kim, you are a bit hard on yourself....Now we are two peas in a pod when it comes to journaling. I write, I hate it, I doodle, I dislike, I rip and trash it goes. Do you think these feelings are from growing up in Roanoke, or going to Raleigh Court, Woodrow and then PH? Maybe it is a southwest issue. You know girl, I am always knocking myself down.

ArtPropelled said...

I agree with all the comments and as Paula said, if you find such a place please let me know. I also have to go somewhere I don't want to go so a little corner in a bookish restaurant with a fire going in Hermitopilis would suit me very well. Something I have tried with journals is that I write things or doodle on scraps of paper (no pressure) and then glue some of them into my journal if I feel like it. It's your journal... you can do what you like with it. Enjoy your evening out. Your husband knows what you like so I'm sure you will enjoy it.

Kathleen Loomis said...

People for whom journals work well are forever trying to tell all the rest of us to use them. (Same, I guess, with vegans, kindle readers, bikram yoga practitioners, followers of various religions, joggers, dog owners and you name it.)

The mystery is why the rest of us, having tried or thought about journaling enough to know that it DOESN'T work for us, feel guilty about that!

Missouri Bend Paper Works said...

Oh! Turns out the population of Hermitopolis is growing have many, many kindred spirits, Kim! The phone....eek!!! Going out where there are too many thanks, I'd rather be alone! And, of course, you write so well and so've said what others would write in their it's been said already in the comments....make that notion of journal your own. Everyone is doing it (I can't seem to either), but do it your way....and forget even calling it a journal. Perhaps you are keeper of pages of Hermitopolis! Who knows? There is much to be said for knowing all the things you aren't, that you don't gravitate to and find unrewarding....don't do them, but let them help you find what is yours to do! You are charting your own territory! Cheers!

ArtPropelled said...

I popped in again hoping you would have commented on how your evening went. Mine actually turned into a wonderful night out..... against all expectations.

Kim Hambric said...

Wow! Thanks for all of these comments.

I think my journaling will be mostly done through my blog and I will use my little notebook to scribble a handful of words.

The hubby and I did go out to dinner that night. Very cold!! We had dinner in our favorite cozy restaurant then debated having a drink. We decided the best place to have a drink was at home!!!!

Thea Belecz said...

Hermitopolis! I love that word! A friend recently told me: you'd like to think you are a hermit - but you are not. Cracked me up. My studio is my hermit hang out that I don't spend enough time hermiting and creating in. Sometimes I have tea with friends in there. Creates good vibes for when I am working in there. I love your Blog, Kim. You write well and are very expressive.

Sharmon Davidson said...

As one hermit to another, I can tell you that I already live in Hermitopolis; in fact, I may be the mayor! I love everything you said, but you definitely are too hard on yourself- another thing we have in common. And I freely admit, I don't journal either. You're making art, and writing on your blog, so what's the problem?