Friday, October 29, 2010

Thursday (contains inappropriate language)


No. It sucks.

Let me try blue next time.

I just ruined the damn thing.

What the hell was I thinking?

(sound of head being smacked by self)

Wait. I've got it.

It worked.

Let me try it with a little bit of brown this time.

I just ruined the damn thing. Again.

I'll be back. I just have to check email.

And have a chocolate.

What about Facebook?

Oh. That's cool. What a great idea.

Let me put the clothes in the dryer.

What the hell was that idea?

(sound of head being smacked by self)

I wish I had a smaller house stamp. I'll carve one.

That's great! It really worked!!

Now let me try it out on this paper with the small text.


(sound of going to vintage books, ripping out page, applying matte medium, sound of heat gun, more medium, heat gun, more medium, heat gun)

Let me see if I can stamp this again without it smearing. But what if I ruin the paper? Again.

Let me see if those clothes are dry. Nope.

Where's that little red square? The little red square would work here. Where the hell did I put it? It was right here a minute ago. Those clothes have to be dry.

And while I'm down here, I'll see if there are any emails.

Where's that little red square?!? WHERE'S THAT LITTL . . . oh, there it is. It will look perfect near the bottom of this piece. Nope, too small. Where's that red sheet of paper? Oh, no. That's all I have. I'll have to run out and get some more.

Screw this piece. I'll just put it over here and look at it later.

Now, I'll just prepare one of those paper bags.

(sounds of iron being plugged in, paper being ironed, matte medium being applied, heat gun, medium, heat gun, medium, heat gun)

No. I really don't want to work with the paper bag now. Let me go through my books and find a cool page to tear out.

Great. Love it. Now I just need to prep it.

(matte medium, heat gun, matte medium, heat gun, matte medium, heat gun)

Now let me stamp some of those little houses on it.

Shit. They're too small.

I better get those clothes out of the dryer.

Now that my cat is no longer here to assist me, I'll either have to talk to myself or put it down in my blog. I'm sure that you, dear reader, would prefer that I talk to myself.

p.s. Thanks for all of your comments on my last post -- they are most appreciated.


Marty Mason said...

Missing Chumley, huh? That's okay...that's normal...normal? talking to self is normal...I think....since I talk to self....then it's normal!

ArtPropelled said...

I must be normal then.....talking to myself too .... especially when I'm blue. Hope Saturday and Sunday are much better!

Susan said...


As I start this Monday morning I thought that I would see what was up with you....and I my head is beginning to hurt from the thought of you smacking yourself. Hope the pieces started coming together and you can always talk to your fans.

PS...I always talk to myself...did a lot of that yesterday home alone.

Kelly M. said...

Kim -- Thanks for the great laughs this Monday! You are a great writer -- can picture it all, especially the smacks on the head! What is this creative thing that drives us crazy? My husband calls me the "mad scientist" and awaits the scream "hit the deck, it's gonna blow!" Hang in there!!! :-)))

red-handed said...

This is why successful artists have assistants.

Martha C. Hall said...

I'm reading this as I came down from my studio, because, um... I'm hungry, I'll just grab a yogurt, and um.... while I'm eating my yogurt I'll just check FB and read a blog (yours!). I guess we all do it! OK, my yogurt is done and I'll go back to the studio, until I have to check laundry or something.
PS - I'm sorry about your cat. It was a really nice story you told.

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aimee said...

please use inappropriate language again! that was one incredible string of thought and action - i loved it!

p.s. and that comment from anonymous is just unbeatable - i love random spammy (and harmless) comments like that!

Sharmon Davidson said...

Thanks for this, Kim! I read it before going to work this morning, and it's great to start the day by laughing so hard I almost peed my pants! This sounds exactly like what I'm saying to myself while I work- Ilove the part about "where's the little red square"! Too funny, and I'm glad I'm not as crazy as I thought... or maybe we're both as crazy as I thought...well, you know what I mean, right?