Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I've Got Nothing

That last riveting post was my 350th! And today, I've really got nothing. Not even frozen vegetables that missed the pot. Nothing.

I'm between projects right now. I'm trying to figure out what to do with a recently completed series. I've yet to finish photographing it. Will the New Orleans series go up on Etsy, be auctioned off somewhere for "charity", or remain in my drawers forever?

New Orleans: Languishing Muses II, 24 x 24", 2009

Sorry there is nothing new.

Ideas are brewing, however. Something popped into my head about my mother the other day. I saw colors and bits and pieces. Would I want to assemble original bits and pieces of my mother's life? Has enough been saved? Would I dare to use original bits from her diary?

Yes, I have my mother's diary. If I were to leave it in her hands, it would go into the garbage immediately, if not sooner. I remember finding one of my grandmother's diaries in my parents' basement soon after she died. It was pretty grim. The diary of a woman recovering from a drinking problem and none too happy about it. I never learned of any "bad" family issues until I was in my 30's. I would never have learned anything if not for my sister. In my family, we take "bad" issues and bury them or throw them out. After reading the diary for a few minutes, I put it away intending on packing it up before I left. I mentioned to my mother that I had found the diaries. Dumb move. I never had time to pack up those books, and by the time of my next visit, they were gone. Numbly, I asked my mother where they went, knowing what the answer was going to be. They are no doubt at the bottom of the landfill. Thoughts lost to me forever. Covered over with dirt, rotting vegetables, plastic packaging, and unspeakable debris.

I would love to have those fragments of my grandmother's life. I'm sure they would mean little to my daughter. Aside from any historical significance, I don't think I would have any interest in my great-grandmother's diary. Should any of these writings be saved forever? Should we use them up now while we have the chance? So, could be that I will create a series with what has come to me (accidentally) from my mother. When it has all been used up and sent off, then that's that. It seems far better to me than going into the garbage.

Since so much of her life has literally gone into the garbage, I will surf Etsy today to find other bits and pieces. One of my mother's main hobbies (did she really have hobbies) was sewing, so I'm going to look for some interesting vintage sewing items. However, I don't want this to look like some of those mixed-media pieces that millions of women seem to be creating lately, all jumbly looking. I'm sure that no matter what I do, it will end up being on the dark side. I've got to think up what I will tell my mother, though, if she gets wind of this. But I do feel I've got certain issues to deal with. Isn't that what creating art is about? There's only so many cute little birdies I can deal with.

So, if today turns out to be another non-creative day like yesterday, and it happens again tomorrow, I'm going to do some cooking so I'll have something interesting to post here.

6 comments:

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

I rather like being between projects.
All those possibilities.
I love that New Orleans piece!

Karen said...

I wonder sometimes if I should have a tangible journal aside from the blog... And if I did would my children even want to read it..or even should read it! Such a shame that your grandmothers words are lost. Between projects is a good place to be, let the ideas stew a bit!

Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ArtPropelled said...

Brewing time between projects should be enjoyable but I usually end up pacing in desperation for new ideas to materialize. What a pity about your grandmother's diary. I'm looking forward to seeing this new idea of yours blossoming.

layers said...

Even when we are between projects and even when you say 'there is nothing'-- our minds keep on thinking and looking and ideas are at the edge and you never know when one will pop in.. the possibilities will be endless once you get back into the 'groove'

aimee said...

this is fascinating! others' writings take on an entirely new meaning once they've passed away. i am sorry you lost your grandmother's diaries and i'm curious to hear what you do with your mother's!