Sorry, there are no stunning photos of my recent experiments. The last several have gone wrong. Terribly wrong. They are in the trash and the trash has been taken out to the curb. Usually, if something is not to my liking, I will turn the piece over and work on the other side. Not this time.
I feel that I must always be working on something. I do not consider playing with new ideas working. I MUST get over this. Play is necessary.
There is a juried show coming up that I would like to enter. The "theme" is elemental. Fire, air, water, earth. I began laying out ideas immediately for an "earth" piece. Then everything came to a dead halt. I don't know why. Did I not have enough play time? Is the studio too messy (always)? Do I stink at what I do? Has the well run dry?
I probably walked a mile in my studio yesterday. Pace, pace, pace. Then I would stop to look at quilting and art books for inspiration. I was not inspired. I fear going into the studio this morning. I have performance anxiety.
Should I take a bit of time off? I feel I take too much time off already. Errands, trips to see family, a bit of volunteering at my daughter's school.
I am not a fun person today.
I should have a look at my post from Monday. Just one look at those pants in the photo should cheer me right up.
2 comments:
in a sick sort of way
i'm glad i'm not alone
in those feelings
i think part of why (aside from working now full time) i stopped with art is because I too was 'experimenting' and it all went terribly wrong...and just got more wrong and more wrong and i cannot let it go. I have to make it alright and until then i cannot focus on anything else. i've tried and i can't. so it is a stand off.
i have no advice....but i have empahty.
Ah, it does sound like you need some serious play time! Not time doing other things which need to get done, but real creative play time. I can tell you that I don't toss things out for a very long time. Why? Because I have learned down the road what looks hideous today might look possible in a few weeks, months or even years.
I don't know about you, but when I feel pressure to perform, I totally close down. I do not think that is uncommon among creative people.
I recently had an artist friend...an excellent,established artist...who was feeling similar. She told me she was going into her studio and just literally throw paint on a canvas. The next day, she had a beautiful painting!
I am so sorry you are dealing with this right now. Hang in there and create some play time for yourself. Art isn't an industry!
Thank you, Kim, for visiting my blog today. It was lovely to get your ideas there. See, you are already finding your creativity!
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